Hey everyone i got a new xanga....

everlastingobstoper

.....yeah

Well...life is not as bad as i thought. i do have more people in my family that care about me than i thought.

i got a call from my cousin that lasted about two hours, and i enjoyed it a lot. i really miss him, and him and his family are the only ones that are flip flopping my mind about where i am going to go to college at. i love him to death, and he is like the big brother i never had. he is my favorite cousin, and he has helped me out so much in life it is almost incomprehensible. not only him, but his daughter also. is daughter is the most adorable two year old i know. the funny thing is i will remember holding her on christmas eve at one o'clock in the morning, and she won't. it is one of the things that makes me want to be a parent more than anything in the world. i have to say that my cousin has more influence on me than my parents and imeadiet family combined. he treats me like an adult, which is something that my parents never have.

on the other side of life, it does feel like a big black hole, and nothing is escaping and you are powerless to stop it, but you still have fun on the way.

well...thats enough for tonight.....MUAH! <3 i love you<3

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real cool
Stay at home talking on the telephone with me
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends forever

La, la, la, la
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la
We will still be Friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends forever

Lately i have been noticing how much i have grown and how much i have been learning.

Its crazy to think that next year i am going to be going to college. Life isn't all that easy and not a lot of people understand that. it is sad really. i have friends out of highschool and they don't understand the meaning of living life to it's fullest. i feel as if i am standing on the edge of a cliff trying to push back time, and time is pushing back. it feels bigger and stronger than me. as it should. So from me to you:

Enjoy life to it's fullest. don't do anything that you will regret, or you can't take back. learn as much as you can. and always, always cherish the ones you love, because you don't know when the last time you will be able to hear their sweet voice or spend time with them again.

the past week has been pretty eventful...

monday-thursday:

        School 7:30am-2:00pm

        AVM 2:30pm-4:00pm

        Home 10 minutes

        School/Band 5:00pm-9:30pm

Actually on thursday, i wen't to go see my old teachers at avm, and i ran across Mrs.Svarz, my old 6th grade teacher. She actually remembered me!!! i only saw two of my old teachers, the rest are retired. that makes me feel really old!!! i take that back...Mr. and Mrs.(rush) Laveine still work there. Meh.

Today, i found out my dad has been getting drunk again. *sigh* . i would really like to keep my dad around for a very long time. dunno if that is gonna happen. my mom and i went on a "treasure hunt" and found the rest of his beer and dumped it out. yay for us. *rolls eyes*

on a lighter note, i called sam today. we spent about twenty minutes on the phone, just laughing. made me feel a whole lot better.

Speaking of sam, at practice, we had a heart to heart, and it made me really think about the person i really am. am i really as bad as people say i am? i know i have a short temper, but ...meh i really dunno. i makes me want to cry, along with all the other things that are going on in my life right now...but what can ya do?

thats all i have for now

peace out<3 me.